


Cornelian Marketing Strategy

by ChocolateTeapot (brilliantdelusion)



Category: Final Fantasy I
Genre: Gen, Humor, Parody, Video Game Economy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-18
Updated: 2009-01-18
Packaged: 2020-02-28 23:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18766522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantdelusion/pseuds/ChocolateTeapot
Summary: How to improve the economy? Increase consumption. How to increase consumption? Increase the volume of money. How to increase the volume of money? Send heroes to slay monsters for gil, of course! Onehot.





	Cornelian Marketing Strategy

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on fanfiction.net.

The king and queen of Cornelia were perched on their thrones. In front of them Garland, Lukahn and the chancellor were sitting around a massive oak table that some servants had no doubt hauled up the flight of stairs from the dining room earlier that day. The three were pouring over countless pieces of paper.

Finally, the chancellor raised his head. "To be frank, our economy is in trouble." He adjusted his collar. "As somebody sealed our treasury and handed the key to the King of Elves about four-hundred years ago we have no backup resources. And we would need them in a time like this. The crop failures in Melmond and the pirate raids on Pravoka have halted almost all trade. Our internal economy is also floundering. The people are nervous and are hoarding their money. They-"

The king tapped his foot. "Any suggestions?"

Lukahn coughed. The king looked at him for a moment. "You may speak, Marketing Director Lukahn."

"Many thanks, milord." Lukahn stood up. He straitened his blue robes. "It is common knowledge that adventuring is a very profitable profession, mostly due to the fact that monsters carry around gil for a hitherto unknown reason."

Garland, captain of the royal guard, thumped his fist on the table. His armour clanked loudly. "You can't honestly expect me to order my men to do something like that! No Government Monster Extermination plan has ever worked properly! That's best left to heroes!" Garland folded his arms sullenly. "Besides, who'd guard Cornelia?"

"That is not what I meant." Lukahn gave Garland a look of utter superiority. "Like you said, adventuring should truly be left to heroes. But it is also a very costly business. You need to sleep in inns, buy supplies, equipment and magic spells, not to mention paying for the occasional revival. All that money flows into the community. And more money means higher tax revenues. With all that extra gil we could finally get that bridge rebuilt, at the very least." Lukahn sat down again. He knew that Garland had been pushing for the bridge for almost a year.

"I understand," the queen said, "But there is a flaw. Where shall we get heroes from? They seem to be rather rare."

"Not to mention that inflation-" the chancellor started, but the king cut him off with a deadly glare.

"We could lure some foreigners with a prophecy," Lukahn said, "Nine times out of ten, destiny is involved anyhow."

Garland scowled and muttered something under his breath.

The chancellor looked around with a grin. "So does anybody know any unfulfilled prophesies floating about? No?"

After a while, Lukahn said, "What about 'When darkness veils the world, four Warriors of Light shall come'?"

The chancellor raised an eyebrow, but dipped his quill into the inkwell and wrote it down anyway. "Is that a real prophecy?"

"No, I made it up on the spot." Lukahn smiled sheepishly and looked at his feet.

The king nodded. "It's a very nice prophecy through. All vague and mystical. I like it. But why four?"

Pausing to give the chancellor a smug smile, Lukahn said, "The more people there are, the more money they will spend. However, the more you ask for, the harder it will become to find a group of that size. Therefore, I believe that four is a happy medium."

"So it's settled then." The queen folded her hands on her lap. "We have a prophecy by the revered Sage Lukahn."

The chancellor rolled his eyes.

"Actually, may I go now?" Lukahn said very quietly, "It's my annual vacation and the ship to Crescent Lake will be leaving soon."

"You have that convention there, don't you?" The king gestured towards the door. "You are dismissed, Sage."

Lukahn stood up and bowed. He hitched his robes, waited for the guards to pull open the double doors, and then he scurried out of the room.

The queen took a deep breath. "Garland, instruct the guards to locate four foreigners and find some distinguishing trait that marks them as the Warriors of Light."

Garland gave a brief nod.

"We still need a short term goal to grab the attention of the _Warriors of Light_ ," the chancellor said his voice dripping with scorn for the title, "They will give up if they have no idea what to do."

Garland stood up and stretched. "I think it's customary to kick off an adventure with a kidnapped princess."

 

 

THE END


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